On Getting Real from John Welwood Bringing awareness to the pain of our life stuckness in our patterns often activates a sorrow from deep within—what I call a “purifying sadness.” This is a soul sadness. It is a direct recognition of the price we have paid for remaining stuck in our narrow patterns while turning away from our larger nature. If felt and listened to, this sorrow reveals a deep longing and will to wake up, tell the truth, be real, and do what needs to be done to be more fully alive. Befriending our experience—by making space for what is, along with all our feelings about it—is what facilitates that movement. It allows the desire for change to arise as a natural expression of caring for ourselves—as a holy longing—rather than as a crusade against our failings.